Fat Kid Suit


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People are kinda creeped by what I am keeping in my fridge

If you have read FAT KID SUIT lately you know that I recently started over.  One year is plenty of time to get in amazing shape.  Unfortunately it is also more than enough time to completely fall apart and double in size.

This past Saturday was the first time in a year I went to the local Farmer’s Market with the intention of buying almost ALL of my food for the week there.  I forgot just how different shopping for a true plant-based diet is…

 

When you truly buy enough plant calories, there is little room in the fridge for anything else!

Let me give you a tour of the fridge, which friends and family have called everything from “Gross!” to “Insane!”

Top Shelf

  • Hidden from view are amazing local dates and a couple jars of raw almond butter.
  • Tangerines
  • Apples (several varieties)
  • Snap Peas
  • Local Eggs
  • Red and Gold raspberries
  • Blackberries
  • Three colors of bell peppers
  • Red cabbage
  • Oranges

Middle Shelf

  • In what used to be the “cheese” drawer is cucumber, asparagus, broccoli, and cauliflower.
  • Hidden from view under that drawer is a huge bag of oranges, and a big bag of tangelos for juicing.
  • Sitting in water is celery and three types of carrots.

Bottom “Crisper” Drawers

  • The bottom is mostly greens.  Kale, spinach, mache, arugula, cilantro…bags and bags of greens!

In addition to the what is in the fridge we keep several bunches of bananas and a couple bottles of wine on the counter  at all times.  Next to the fridge are some little “dry” pantry shelves…

 

Basic staples I am using a lot of since changing the way I eat back to plant-based and including some cooked vegetables.

Some of the stuff on these shelves are left overs from different things I’ve tried and am no longer really doing.  For instance the powdered greens and greens in pill form.  As you can see from the fridge pics the focus is on fresh.

Why not 100% raw?

I am not wanting to do 100% raw right now.  By not pushing for 100% I am eating less nuts and almost no raw specialty foods.  In addition to the calories I get from raw fruits, veggies, and small quantities of raw nuts and oils–I get calories from simple cooked meals that are comprised of potatoes and other cooked vegetables, tomato sauces, and delicious fresh pesto.  I limit myself to having a few servings of whole grains and eggs each week.  The cans you see are cat food, which since October have been the only meat in the house…

In just a few weeks I have gotten off the coffee ride, am drinking a lot less hard liquor, and no beer.  Done are the nightly pizzas, the garlic bread, french fries, and junk sweets.  And guess what?  The out of control and disgusting acid reflux, which had reached a level where I couldn’t even lay flat to sleep, is 100% gone.  I am exercising almost every day now, and feel compelled to do so.  I will weigh myself soon, but from what I can see in the mirror I have already dropped a lot of toxic weight.  All thanks to avoiding industrial food and doing my best to choose the most nutrient rich foods I can eat.

 


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60 day raw food log: Day 42 Can’t sleep again so here is a freak show photo blog to appease blog gods…and get you all off my back!

Getting to sleep is proving to be difficult lately.  I’m WIRED from raw fruit & technology.

Tonight I got hooked on being a DJ at Blip. You can check it out and listen to what I’m listening to blah blah blah.  Connectivity is becoming a bitch people.  I LOVE it & I hate it.  Feel me?

I was also watching these time-lapse You Tube vids of people who photograph themselves every day for several years and then stream the photos in rapid succession so you get to see a kaleidoscope of hairdos & pimples. Pretty cool. Here is my absolute favorite one because the guys hair looks alive from pic to pic–DO NOT WATCH THIS IF YOU ARE ON LSD RIGHT NOW!!!

These photo fast forwards got me thinking about how drastically our “look” changes over the years, and made me want to post some of my candid pics from the past four years (that’s about when I bought my first digital camera).  Enjoy a peek at how unstable I really am and a boisterous laugh at my expense…

NYC

Uh, that's what you do when you get a new camera, right?

fresh off boat. most people head straight for the whole where WTC used to be. I went looking for George & Elaine.

being a bike messenger is almost medieval hard--look at my helmet hair

i think this was halloween?

after about a year in NYC--that's a BKLYN industries track jacket

getting a lil hipsterish--thats what those big live-work lofts do to you

you also apparently start shooting in black & white...

how i liked to dress when i rode public transportation in NY

BACK TO CALI

didn't take long to go from hipster to hippy

I started channeling Jack Black

and doing a lot of disco drugs

and then apparently i was let out on parole?

but that didn't stop me from criminal trespassing

Is that JT? No..that's just me in Vegas

Eating at Cafe Gratitude in Berkeley the first time I tried raw living

started wearing all black and flipping off old ladies

Got a job on a cruise ship impersonating Bob's Big Boy

but the job had it's perks--these were french morrocan chefs on St. Thomas who fed our drunk asses yummy Thai food and shots of real fruit infused Patron...

it's xmas here, in HAWAII! but still have SF winter beard. and if you look close I was working on a rat-tail. my mom never let me have one.

Was hoping to be cast as "meathead" in All In The Family remake

here's where it starts to go bad...pretty sure there's a drink in my hand...

or a slice of pizza

apparently i never get off this couch, here's a year after the last photo, i'm 250 lbs or more and killing a case of beer every 24 hours...

which led me back to this raw food thing

and hopefully back on my way to healthy and too cool for school

So…

I will be taking 60 day pics in about a week and a half…hope you enjoyed this insomnia-maniacal abuse of social media and won’t report me.


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60 day raw food log: day 28 If raw food is so great, why do I feel bad?

It’s Sunday in Palm Springs, 75 degrees out, beautiful mountain backdrop, happy friendly people and their pets are out enjoying the life…

And I feel like shit.

Why?

My first week eating only raw food was rough.  Imagine cutting yourself off cold-turkey from drinking over 100 adult beverages per week, abstaining from your morning cup of crack with the pretty mermaid on it, and suddenly refusing your body any access to pizzas and Mexican food…NOT a fun transition.

If you’ve seen New Moon, and watched Kristen Stewart’s “Bella” writhe and scream in her sleep over her lost Edward (who I still maintain looks an awful lot like Bert from Sesame Street), you have an inkling of what my first week raw felt like!

Weeks two and three were a different movie…I felt euphoric and “high” and ate up all the positive comments I was getting from friends and strangers.  EVERY SINGLE DAY I saw a thinner, sexier, happier, healthier, more in-tune version of me in the full-length mirror.

Having a cute young raw foods chef at a Santa Monica cafe ask me if I was “raw” the second I walked in the door surprised me.  When I answered yes, and she told me she “thought so, because my eyes were so clear and I really had a case of the glow” I was beyond flattered.

But here I am near the end of week four, a week of apathy and fatigue.  What’s up?  I feel like I’m doing this right…I’ve slowly been upping my intake of greens, I’m making sure I get natural fats like hemp oil, I’m still eating a lot of juicy organic fruits…

Also, I eat very little dehydrated raw foods (they make me feel as dry as they are) and most days just eat foods in their whole simple form without trying to “doll” them up.

I’m hoping that it’s just another cleansing level I’ve hit?  I would expect my recent toxic past to haunt me for awhile. Maybe it’s a little bit mental…one month is the longest I’ve ever gone before raw…? But Jesus do I hate the idea that some or all of the benefits of raw eating might just be in my head.

One interesting distinction I’d like to make: I’m not depressed.  I’ve spent much of my life in moderate to severely depressed states, this isn’t anything like that.  I’m clear about things–almost scary sober–but I don’t necessarily like how that feels…

Sometimes eating raw makes so much sense to me, and I see it as the answer to a lot of peoples problems both on a personal level and a collective one.  That’s how I mostly feel…at other times the whole thing seems ridiculous and absurd!  Not eat ANY cooked foods?  Not get drunk and stupid?  WHY?!?  What am I trying to prove? To whom?

As an example last night a guy at the bar wanted mashed potatoes.  We don’t have that on the menu, but Mike the Chef made some for him anyways, that’s the kind of old school cool we serve up.  When I bring him the potatoes I’m drooling.  When he adds a few dollops of real butter I’m butter.  So I try and remind myself that when I get home later I was actually going to make my own version of mashed “potatoes” which are made from soaked cashews and cauliflower blended up with salt & pepper.  They taste pretty good.  But they are NOT potatoes, and they are cold.  For some reason it just seemed stupid to me…am I too good for potatoes?

My intention with this blog is not necessarily to inspire anyone to do anything.  I simply want to reveal what eating raw is doing for me (now and in the future).  So please take what I say with a grain of pink Himalayan crystal salt.   I’m half-way through my trial and will continue to candidly share my peaks and valley floors with anyone interested…


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60 day raw food log: day 21 Weighing the cost of a raw food diet…is it worth it? (part 3)

 

WHAT IN THE WORLD DO I HAVE TO GAIN FROM EATING THIS WAY?


Energy

Sun Power!

Serious—power a small city, build bigger pyramids, apply for the “HELP WANTED: SUPERHERO” position advertised on craigslist, kind of energy. I have never felt lighter or freer…EVER!

You’ve heard raw food zealots talk about it, try it for yourself and see why so many athletes are turning to a diet high in raw foods to give them a competitive edge.  ULTRA-MARATHONERS are eating this way! When was the last time you ran 100 miles?

 

Mental Clarity

I don’t know that I can convey how clear my thinking becomes eating this way.  There’s a precision and depth to my thoughts that I DO NOT experience when eating cooked foods.  Some might even refer to it as

Whose more "in the moment"? Kids or dogs...

spiritual.  I’ll skip that label and just say raw foods are very expansive…

 

Addicted No More

Three weeks ago I was addicted to food, alcohol, and caffeine.  No other way to call it.  I was.  I don’t necessarily mean in the “I better get to a 12-step meeting” kind of way.  I mean how most of us are addicted to these things that should enhance our lives but for many don’t.

Having a couple beers with your friends is nice.  Sitting alone and spending your insomniacal hours working on a case of beer isn’t.

A glass of wine with your pasta dinner can be a beautiful thing.  Eating whole pizzas because your bored and drinking 50, 75, 100, or more drinks per WEEK…not so pretty.

The simplest, fastest, most effective way to break your food/booze/caffeine cravings is to go 100% raw with a focus on green foods. Doesn’t have to be forever, but give your body the break it deserves.  You will be surprised by how effective green foods are at combating your addictions.

 

Transcendence

It feels kinda cool to transcend food.  Best analogy I can think of is the totally in-control bartender who doesn’t drink himself…

So much of modern life can feel out of our control.  And it sucks to feel like you are always letting yourself down and breaking your own promises.  I gotta admit that I feel a sense of power being able to go to work in an Italian resaturant and bar and only eat tangerines on my shift while everyone else is eating pizza and getting drunk.

One man–a diabetic–comes in every night and drinks two or three bourbons while chowing down on minestrone, a caesar salad, a basket of garlic bread, a heaping plate of chicken alfredo, and some cheesecake.  All while lamenting how cursed he is to have diabetes!  It feels good not to be that guy.

 

Healthier Every Day

I remember literally feeling like every day I woke up my health was deteriorating markedly.  It really blows to be only 36 years old and huffing and puffing up a flight of stairs.

So many of the ailments people “come down with”, “contract”, or “suffer from”, are 100% avoidable.  Please don’t take me as some kind of jerk who is going to insist that all sickness is self-made.  I don’t think that at all.  But most of the everyday “conditions” we live with are.  The guy I mentioned who comes into my bar every night…he CHOOSES to be a diabetic.  One month eating raw and he’d be a different person and he would NOT be a diabetic.

Another example of the health benefits of eating raw is how totally it covers all the bases.  I was in the health food store the other day waiting for my fresh watermelon juice to be made.  So I decided to walk around and look at the shelves.  Two thirds of the stores shelves contain vitamins, powders, supplements, tonics, etc.  TWO THIRDS!  I had a funny reaction–literally–and started laughing out loud.  It all seemed so ridiculous.  None of those pills are going to fix anything. Total waste of time and money.  Let alone pharmaceuticals…

 

Natural Weight Control

Oprah and Ricky can talk all they want about the need for heavy people to accept themselves and the evils of a society obsessed with being thin…it doesn’t change the fact that none of us want to be fat!

If you read my Fat Kid Suit story you know I grew up being a fat kid in a fat family.  It sucked!  You know why I think people dislike being fat the most?  Because all those layers are proof that you are hiding shit and that your thoughts aren’t your own.

Have you watched the Biggest Loser?  Ever see people cry that much?  Even for reality TV these “losers” are shedding more tears than I thought humanly possible.

Being fat is not congruent with any kind of personal authenticity.  When I’m fat I start avoiding eye contact.  It’s a terrible terrible way to be and while I’m all empathy about how hard it is to make up your mind to change it, it’s 100% on you.  Eating raw has helped me quickly realize that, and I no longer want to abdicate my responsibility to and for myself.

If you haven’t tried eating 100% (or at least mostly) raw yet, you may not believe me when I tell you that eating raw is NOT a diet.  And I hope you know that I don’t mean that in some cheese-ball marketing sense.  It simply isn’t a diet.  I’ve lost a lot of weight already, and I have NEVER ONCE thought about a calorie, a carb, or wondered how many fat grams I was eating.  NEVER EVER do I tell myself I shouldn’t have seconds or thirds of anything.

I pour the olive oil on THICK!  I eat a whole avocado as a snack. I lick honey off of spoons.  The other day I got a massive pineapple and ate the whole thing for lunch.  You know those a-holes who say that drinking fruit juice is the same as drinking soda?  I drank a quart of fresh pressed seasonal apples juiced into a cloudy lover of a concoction that zinged in my mouth and sweetened my soul like no other…yeah it was that good.  My body SOAKED it all up into my cells which collectively broke out in song.  And guess what?  It wasn’t the Coke song.

 

Sex

Oh, NOW you’re paying attention!  Yeah sex.  That thing you try and squeeze in between cocktail dreardoms and buffet bellyaches.  Only a very small group of fetishists find belching and food induced comas to be a turn on.

You know what’s really sexy?  FRUIT!  Farmer’s markets are the new sex shops.  I don’t mean you have to use the fruit that way, just eat it.   And then let all that stored solar stuff of life bump up against some other radiant beings overflow.  In other words, sex is better the more raw foods you eat.

NO idea who this guy is, but HE'S got the right idea!

Having that youthful raw foods “glow” and lightness of being make you FEEL sexy at any age.  That kind of confidence and feeling of self-worth is the only real aphrodisiac…

 

The Environment & Animals Everywhere Will Thank You

This one is obvious to most people.  I’m not going to get all science right now.  There are tons of great resources out there regarding the undeniable connection between what we eat and the environment.  If anything, I’m sick of the words “green,” “sustainable,” “vegan,” and “carbon footprint.”  These are becoming marketing buzz words, overused, and to me they are often elitist terms with very little real world application for the majority of the worlds population.

I wasn’t attracted to raw foods for ethical reasons.  If anything I’m a borderline Nihilist who is completely A-political.  But, what we do most of the time makes the largest impact in our personal lives and on the human family as a whole.  Eating less meat and dairy has a far greater impact than driving a Prius does…

I’m not an “animal lover,” but the more raw foods I eat the more empathy I feel for animals, other people, and myself.  Having apparently turned my hatred toward plants, I’m now regularly butchering papayas the size of infant children and braining coconuts to get at their sweet innards.  You can’t please every species all of the time I guess.  Besides, the other day when I drove by a small farm, the chickens waved.

 

My Conclusions

I’m sure there are heaps more benefits that I don’t even know about yet.  I’m only just beginning with all of this.  Three weeks in I’m loving the results and wanting more.

Can I do this 100% of the time?  Probably not.  And I don’t think that’s what matters anyways.  But I can see myself mostly raw from here forward.

 

Your Input

What are some benefits to eating raw that you have experienced and that I failed to mention?  What percentage (roughly) of your diet comes from raw foods?  What do you like/dislike about the raw food movement?

PLEASE comment and join in on the discussion!

 

P.S.

Tomorrow I weigh myself and will post the result of week three’s weight loss.  All while NOT dieting.  So please check back for that and more!

Thanks!


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60 day raw food log: day 15 This is really working! Lost 13 lbs in only 2 weeks!

So I’m now 241 lbs. I may post before & after pics soon, or I might just do it at the 30 days milestone?  My face looks way thinner already and I feel much lighter in general. And that’s with virtually NO…

EXERCISE:

So far. I am feeling the urge to get back to Bikram yoga.

When I do my quick little bike commute to the restaurant where I tend bar, I remember how amazing it was when I used to go on long mountain bike rides on the Central Coast of California or take a spring Sunday to ride from Brooklyn into the city and lazily circumnavigate Manhattan (the reward was always a stop @ the Whole Food’s at Columbus Circle for picnic supplies to be gorged on in Central Park followed closely by a nap on the grass).

FOOD CRAVINGS:

I still battle with intermittent yet powerful cooked food cravings.  Last night I was dying every time I took a pizza or garlic bread to a customer…

But you know what?  I feel tremendous. And how crazy is it to lose so much weight, so healthily, and so fast?  Thirteen pounds in just two weeks!?!


THIS IS NOT A DIET:

I really need to drive home an important point for anyone reading this wondering if they are capable of going raw–I AM NOT STARVING MYSELF.  I AM NOT EVEN DIETING. Seriously.  I eat as much and as often as I want.

Eating raw is qualitative not quantitative. That’s a funny expression I coined so that I would sound like I really know what I’m talking about.  It just means that eating and thinking this way (raw), has ZIP to do with dieting. Zero calorie watching.  Zero hesitation if you want seconds or thirds. Your free to focus instead only on what you are eating.

FREE TO THINK & CREATE:

And you know what? After the initial misery while cleansing (for me it was terrible headaches and anger), and after the evangelical weird high most new raw-fooders go through where they get sorta preachy & annoying (while still being extremely lovable by virtue of their infectious radiant charisma) , you are all freed-up to think and plan and enjoy exploring areas of life other than food.

For me that’s been learning what a blog (noun) is, and how to blog (verb).

I also dug up the grave that some screenplays I started but never finished were buried in. I had to re-introduce myself to a dormant creative ghost who shared in secret with me (don’t worry ghosts don’t read blogs, they read blaaahhhgggs) that it still wants to be fueled by alcohol and occasional cocaine parties.

But that would be a different kind of blog…

What I ate so far today:

  • Watermelon Juice from Nature’s Cafe (they are on Twitter now!)sweet livin walnuts
  • “Sweet Livin’ Walnuts” from Aimee’salso bought these at Nature’s Cafe. Sweet & salty…sorta like almond praline meets cinnamon toast crunch cereal? For me the Stevia leaves an aftertaste…that’s my one complaint..I really prefer raw honey as a sweetener.
  • Big Salad w/ avocado, sprouts, tomato, kalamatas, olive oil, lemon juice…
  • My first self-prepared “gourmet” raw meal: I made cashew “mayonnaise” in the blender, bought a surprisingly good raw dehydrated rye “bread”, and topped it with a thick layer of the mayo, olives, and half an avo, so that I had this ridiculously flavorful open faced sandwich that had deli overtures.
DSCN1417

sorry the pic is fuzzy, the sandwich moved!


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60 days raw food log: Day 11 is a day full of cravings

Day 11

Yesterday sailed by, easy breezy. Wind in my sails like Captain Jack Sparrow.

Today…not so easy & nothing breezy about it.  I am craving  &%^$#  EVERYTHING! Here’s a partial list:

  • Grilled ham & cheese sandwich from Olympic Diner in SF. The waitress would get pissed when I asked if they could throw a fried egg on it, I’d say “pretty please” and she’d bring it out w/ a smile and EXTRA home fries!grill ham egg cheese
  • ANY flavor of piping hot ooey gooey mozzarella topped perfection from Rocco’s Pizzeria in Walnut Creek. My creation usually was pancetta, sun-dried tomatoes, pesto, and feta…but sometimes I’d go for traditional red sauce w/ ground beef, garlic, and green peppers.roccos
  • A heaping plate of CARNITAS from my favorite authentic Mexican restaurant, Las Montanas in Concord.  Somehow their food isn’t “wet” like most mex places.  It floods your mouth with flavor, but as an example the rice is fluffy and dry and perfect.  The staff is the best I’ve ever encountered.  The drinks always sucked so i stuck with ice cold LAGUNITAS IPA from the tap.
  • My own cooking, esp slow cooked homemade spicy tomato sauce w/ pasta…
  • A perfect loaf of ciabatta from the BROOKLYN BREAD COMPANY in Carroll Gardens and salted butter!BK bread
  • The #3 I think it was at the Thai restaurant my boss used to take me to on 23rd street in Chelsea when I worked in Manhattan.  Even when I asked for “not so spicy” I’d cry through every meal and savor every morsel.  I REALLY MISS NYC on many levels.
  • Sweet & Tangy pulled pork BBQ  or Tri-Tip sandwich from Firestone Grille in my original hometown of San Luis Obispo CA. firestoneTheir fries are the bomb, the patio is the place to be seen, and all kinds of micro brewskies. While in SLO why not hit up the Thurs night Farmer’s Market and stand in the ridiculous long line for McKlintocks beef ribs, camp beans, garlic bread & real lemonade… And one more spot in SLO you can’t skip is High Street Deli on, yup, High Street.  San Luis Sourdough piled with whatever you want in between…   High Street
  • Chilaquiles w/ chorizo & sour cream at the King’s Highway, the cool new diner at the chic new Ace Hotel in Palm Springs where a friend recently saw Drew Barrymore and company eating.  Wash it down with their house ale that’s only $3 a pint in an otherwise pricey enviro. Go on a Wed night & bring your swimsuit, grab a Tanqueray and Lime at the bar & go join the DJ’d pool party.ace
  • Chili Fries with a mountain of melted cheddar! But the chili has got to be SPICY like Cool Cats in SLO!chili_fries

Ok, sorry to put you through that if you came to this blog looking for encouragement with your raw endeavors.  But, this is part of it, right?  I’m trying to keep it real and not sugarcoat my experience going raw.

I’m NOT going to eat anything like that today!  And no cold beer! Raw food eating is worth it. I feel good and already look a lot better.  In about a week I’ll post the first before & after pics of my journey into better health. Each Tuesday I will also weigh myself.  My first week I lost 7lbs. So I’m curious to see what week two’s weight loss is.

I feel kinda bad (not really) for posting all those cooked food pics on a raw food blog–don’t judge. So to try and offset the greasy pics above I want to post the best looking raw food pic I have seen this week. They are “Red Pepper Poppers” and that is EGGPLANT BACON! I can’t wait to make them!  The recipe is at
http://www.rawmazing.com/recipes/red-pepper-poppers/

red pepper poppers eggplant bacon

What I ate so far today:

  • Watermelon Juice (I just found out it’s an APHRODISIAC! I don’t think chili fries make you a better lover..)
  • Pear
  • Blueberry Banana Smoothie w/ honey & green powder
  • Salad: Leftover homemade pesto, spinach, olives, rawmesan
  • Apple
  • Vanilla-maca-date-banana-shake

***PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT ABOUT WHAT YOU CRAVE AND WHAT PERCENTAGE OF YOUR DIET IS RAW! THANKS! I’m really curious to here from others about this.


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60 Days Raw Log: Only day 6 but feels like a year

Day 6

Alright, so it’s been tough sticking to this thing called raw.  When I was in SF at least I was in good company with all the hippies.  Here in Palm Springs the few people I’ve told that I’m trying to eat at least one month “raw” look at me like I’m wacked.

Tonight at work my stomach was growling while everyone else was chowing down on pizzas oozing with mozzarella and the other bartender had the cooks make her a quesadilla loaded with spicy chorizo.  “Want a piece?”  I thought I was going to die.

But I was good tonight (which btw, that kinda thinking screws with your head, because what am I, a monk?) and came home and made an extra heavy-dense-cabbage salad with loads of almond butter and a whole avocado.

At this point I don’t feel like I could do this 100% of the time for very long. It alienates you socially and so far, while I do feel a lot better, its just not that fun.  I keep imagining that I will reach a point where I eat mostly raw but enjoy a few healthy cooked dinners each week.  Who knows?  I’m going to reserve judgment for now and just ride this wave out.

What I ate today:

  • Spirulina smoothie with almond butter, maca powder, cacao nibs, honey, coconut oil
  • Figs
  • Giant cabbage salad with avocado, almond butter, tamari, olive oil, carrots, onion (very creamy!)
  • Blackberries

Notes:  I didn’t have fruit juice today and I felt the difference.  Not as hydrated and not as “light” feeling.  I noticed today for the first time that I started feeling at one with my bicycle again–my ride to and from work felt amazing and I think very soon I will be out riding for fun.