Fat Kid Suit


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stick a label on me, spread the bull-shit thick, manipulate everyone around you

I’m sick. Physically, mentally, and socially.

Fizz:ical (PX)

Tuberculin Zone Ahead

 

Seems I picked up some kind of lung thing in Mexico.  Despite heavy doses of miracle powders ranging from deep forest mushrooms to marine algae–I still look and feel horror show.  The other physical malefactor being stress from work issues I don’t want to elaborate on, and my own piteous incapacity to handle life…

 

gone Mental ( -MH )

Children who don’t sleep at night are creepy birds.  I was one of those wide-eyes, and it wasn’t/isn’t a hoot.

FML

So much seems to be about sync, records just don’t play right if spun even a little too slow or fast.  My reset button was intense exercise, which is unfortunate, due to pernicious injury I spend a lot of time sidelined.  If I wasn’t eating as healthfully as I am now and drinking as little–I’d be sunk at the bottom of the deep end of the depression pool.

Social defunct (S&M)

Being immune-compromised, exhausted, and synapse taxed makes it toilsome to be around others.  If you have ever worked in “the service industry” you know how unserviceable many of the bloated, baffled, boring, and banal who stumble through are.

Lately I've been lacking in flair.

Here in Palm Springs California, most of the tourist look as if just seconds before someone smashed them in the face with a baseball bat.  Stunned and confused they want me to make them a drink identical to the swill they drink back home at their neighborhood Applebee’s or Tweedledicks.

It’s painful even pretending to be interested as they tell their grating stories or stammer about how they don’t really mind homos as long as they don’t make a show of it or act, you know, too gay.  And then I’m supposed be funny,  endearing even, while I cater to their every piggish whim running back and forth for diet coke refills and extra ranch dressing.

Looking for a bridge to live under

Beyond the food service thing, I am fighting to find a way to communicate with people that doesn’t feel like it is sucking the life out of me.

TOTALLY legit

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The Pinocchio Effect

My entire life has been a sort of déjà vu.  Circular worlds, never time expressed linear, a sailor ever sailing concentric.

While living in New York City, it got so bad that I began living manic.  In love with words, I’ve never lost the desire to look up any who introduce themselves.  Sometimes I become aware of a word that I know I have never read or heard before, but then I start hearing and reading it everywhere.  In gambling and science something like this is called bunching.  The roulette doesn’t go red/black/red/black/red.  Roulette tables are for screams and grief.  Black/black/black/black/black.  So you bet redBLACK again. Bunching happens.  But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

And not only with new words, sometimes it happens with the absurd too.  Always I have deeply identified with Pinocchio.  First Disney’s little donkey boy, later the dark, much taller Italian.  Pinocchio and I are kindred—questing  for authenticity—baffled by our lies. I understand you Pinocchio, truth is overmuch revealing.

Steampunk Pinocchio Redux?

Back to NYC, the city where Paul Auster’s characters also suffer the malaise of déjà vu.   Districts for everything. Diamonds. Fur. Dance. Sex.  Books.  Advertising.  Poetry.  Sex.  And thrift.  Which is where, appropriately, I found Pinocchio.  Again.

A discard hiding in a stack of old cookbooks froze me into the posture of one slightly afraid to proceed. A very early edition of Pinocchio full with stunning pencil sketches of a gaunt but phallic Pinocchio, and his almost Uncle Lester styled Geppetto.  The girl wanted twelve dollars. I would have paid a hundred or more.  Buying that book began a month of hell and wonder.  And for the first time in my life, the circles, the impossible bunching, all of it, had a name—the Pinocchio effect.

I am especially obsessed with this turn in the story.


Few waking hours passed that month where I didn’t hear or read the word Pinocchio.  No hour of sleep was absent his name.  At first it was amusing.  Ha!  The whole world loves Pinocchio as I do.  All these people, they never mentioned Pinocchio before, not once.  Not my boss, or clients, or the hot dog guy and his passerby.  It soon wasn’t funny.  It is exhausting to wonder if you are mad.  I quickly grew tired of suspecting the world was only a theater stage, where I was the only one not acting.

I still have that book somewhere.  Hopefully in a box.  The Pinocchio incident was years ago.  I can’t remember the last time I heard someone mention him.  Years and years and not a single Pinocchio dropped in conversation.  There is a restaurant in the desert town where I now lived called Pinocchio’s.  It took courage to eat there, I went alone.  Just a place for omelets really, not a portal of any kind.

They have good breakfast burritos. Free parking in the rear! is Palm Springs humor.

 

 

 


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Another go at Raw Foods-Who wants to join me?

What a wild ride this “personal transformation” thing has been!  Seriously crazy loco whipsaw carnival grade action that would make Ray Bradbury tingle…

One of the coolest things has been all the people reading the blog, cheering me on, and experimenting with raw foods themselves.  Thank you.

If you are new to this blog, let me bring you up to speed with a quick re-cap:

A personal “State of the Union.”

  • Just before Halloween ’09 I was deep down in the “pits.”  Drinking over 100 alcoholic beverages a week, eating with abandon, and totally sedentary; I was an emotional & physical wreck.
  • Life was terrible sleepless nights brought on by acid reflux and painfully debilitating symptoms from the beginnings of an inguinal hernia.
  • My sedation had also aggravated a serious motorcycle shoulder injury from the past–and my left arm dislocated sometimes just taking off my shirt.
  • Overall, I was feeling as despondent as my liver must have felt.

Grasping at Curly Straws

  • A few years ago, I had experimented with raw food eating, and had easily lost weight while experiencing insane energy and even outright euphoria.  I wondered if I could rescue my body from the abuse I was submitting it to, and somehow get out of the oppressive depression that had become my norm, just by eating raw…
  • I set my mind to a 60 day “challenge.”  The plan was to go cold-turkey on cooked food, alcohol, and caffeine.  I knew it was going to be an extremely rough transition and that I needed some kind of external accountability to stick to it.  So I started this blog–Fat Kid Suit–to both “keep me honest” and chronicle the experience.
  • In just 60 days I lost 34 lbs, my troubling acid reflux disappeared, and I literally was a different person–so much so that the local paper asked if they could feature my story!
  • One of the conditions I set for myself when committing to 100% raw for 2 months was that I didn’t have to exercise if I didn’t want to.  I knew that just changing my diet so severely was going to be enough of a battle–so I left the exercise resolutions totally out of it.  I figured that eventually I’d WANT to work out.  And that’s exactly what happened…

Epic Fail on a New Challenge

  • So after completing 60 days raw, I set my mind to a new challenge, “90 straight days of exercise.”  I decided that during this challenge, I’d focus on fitness more than diet, and continue to eat a lot of raw foods, but allow myself cooked meals made with natural ingredients (hormone/antibiotic/containment free meat & dairy, organic veggies/potatoes/and grains, etc.).
  • The results of the first 30 days were interesting, I only lost a few pounds, despite doing some form of intense exercise EVERY day.  All that hiking, biking, push-ups, and Bikram Yoga was building muscle and I felt REALLY good, but I was frequently bloated and “puffy.”  I’d lost that lean & mean feeling I was getting from raw food…or more specifically from NOT eating cooked foods…
  • Then disaster struck.  About half-way through the 90 day challenge the hernia symptoms came back (very painful & involving my right nut–aaargh).  Unfortunately, the only way to cope is to STOP all exercise and straining, apply a lot of ice to the affected areas, and pretty much lay down for days
  • My work (bartending) also really exacerbates the symptoms–my job involves TONS of lifting, straining, stooping, squatting, and twisting at a near reckless pace.
  • Needless to say my “90 day Natural Fitness Challenge” was over.

Now What?

The last month has been a massive bummer.  Coming to terms with my physical situation, suddenly going from very active to not at all, and doing that very human thing we call drowning our sorrows, has meant gaining a few pounds and finding myself sorta depressed again for the first time in months.

I have just come too far to give up now and I am forcing myself to look at the bright side of things and figure out a way to continue forward, even if at a reduced speed.

Living in a place with such fab weather makes staying “up” a LOT easier.  While many of you must wait several more months for summer, it’s already come to Palm Springs California.  We had the customary “bad” month of lower temps and showers, and now the weather has “popped” and it’s 70 degrees in the morning, and 80 degrees or higher in the afternoons.  The skies are crystal clear, with truly breathtaking vistas from the desert floor looking up at snow frosted mountain peaks.

I’ve decided to take advantage of the heat.  Eating raw feels so natural when it’s hot and sunny.  My focus this time around isn’t going to just be the scale.  I want to heal from the inside out, and hopefully avoid surgery.

If I didn’t have the limitations from the hernia and was able to do more resistance training; my ideal weight would be between 200 and 205 pounds.  But, since all I can do right now is take long walks, my goal is 190 to 195 pounds ( a less muscular version of me).  I’m guessing it will take 6-8 weeks of eating 100% raw to lose the remaining weight.

My feeling is that even if I do end up needing surgery, I will be so much happier to have dropped that weight BEFORE, and know that I will have an even speedier recovery.  I’m also going to do my best to slowly build my core abdominal strength back up (something that’s a lot easier to do without an extra 20 pounds of gut).

A Simpler, Streamlined Approach To Raw Eating…

Tomorrow I will post my new–super simplified–approach to raw!  A simple streamlined menu with a shopping list that doesn’t require ANY complicated meal prep.  If you have been wanting to try raw out for yourself, you may find this approach to be a great way to go for it!

simple as that


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90 Day Natural Fitness Challenge: Day 5 Meet some of the other “challengers!”

So far about a dozen people in the Twitter, Facebook, and blog world have told me they are on board with the 90 day challenge in one form or another.  Not sure how many will share their info and photos with me for this blog, but I’d like to feature as many people’s transformation stories here that I can!

I will start with  three people who I know well and who responded positively to the challenge immediately;  my aunt Carrie (she’s more like a big sister and only a few years older than me), my brother Mike, and my girlfriend Annie.

Carrie (In her own words)

I am turning 40 in about five months, and I want to feel the healthiest ever! Seriously…

I am as you know a mommy of two beautiful little ladies, and a stay home mommy and wife at that. I work my tail off and have always seemed to put myself last health wise.

I do the yo-yo diet thing, work out here and there, but since having our girls have not held to it as I did before. Clearly my fault, as I was thinking it was selfish of me to spend time taking care of me. NOW I view this far differently, and know the better healthier way to see this is to take care of myself, so I can take care of my family.

Keep in mind that while I admit to being overweight, I am muscular too from working out with weights.  I love LOVE working out, but as I said have felt guilt over it.  As you know it is very time consuming to do it all the right way.

I love being a mommy and a wife…

My goals are to lose inches, over all lose some pounds, and feel healthy. I want a clean diet and I want to learn how to stay off of this destructive yo-yo diet & working out thing I have done for the last 11 years since having my kiddos.

My plan is to work out with light weights and do high reps , with TONS of cardio, as much as I can possibly handle. I am doing a diet as of today that is known as the Sacred Heart Diet {it’s primarily a soup diet], which has worked before for me as a way to kick start weight loss.

I am open to doing the raw diet after I have time to gain enough insight to do it wisely AND I am open to any and all constructive advice you may have as time goes on. I want to complete this with a good success, so I can not only say I did it, but be able to see quality results.

I have also committed to absolutely no soda for the next 90 days, and and no fake sugars in my coffee, which is the only time I use them. I will drink it black for the next 90 days…

-Carrie

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Carrie forwarded me her starting stats including her weight and some measurements.  I told her I would keep those a secret until we complete the first 30 days together and have our first set of “after” pics to compare with the “before” pics none of us are dying to share just yet!

Thanks Carrie for writing this and I know you are going to have insane results and discover some cool new things about yourself now that you are open to giving yourself the attention you deserve!

More about Carrie in the weeks to come, for now you can find her on facebook.

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Annie

What can I say about Annie? She’s a funny girl who has a unique way of approaching everything.  And her diet is no exception.

Annie is a strict vegetarian who also eats no gluten or refined sugars.  She is one of the healthiest eaters I know, and one of the things I like best about her eating style is that she NEVER diets.

Annie teaches Bikram Yoga classes, practices Bikram herself everyday, and is a full time student.  Annie works, plays, and eats hard!

One thing Annie does most days is eat “raw until dinner.”

Each day starts with her massive signature smoothie and then she snacks throughout the day on mostly raw foods (we buy lots of LARA bars and tangerines).  She chows down on a big healthy vegetarian dinner (which I usually make) each night.  Usually it’s Mexican food or something like brown rice pasta with fresh pesto & tomatoes.

Tonight I’m experimenting and we are having a big pot of oven roasted veggies (potatoes, asparagus, broccoli, brussel sprouts, leeks, carrots, and garlic bulbs) marinated in olive oil, herbs, organic red wine, sea salt and pepper.  The veggies will be the star of the show and will be served with a side of lentils cooked with red onion.

So why does Annie, who already eats extremely well and who exercises every day already, want to do the 90 day challenge?

Because that’s the kinda hairpin she is…

Actually Annie is challenging herself by adding a once per week grueling advanced yoga class to her existing daily exercise routine.  Once a week for 12 weeks she will be spending 4 hours total in a heated room attempting to learn poses that have strange names and make me wince just thinking about them.  I admire Annie for challenging herself this way because I happen to know she really dislikes these classes and is making a real sacrifice to do them.

I snapped some “before” pics of Annie attempting to do postures she now finds impossible, and at the end of the 12 weeks I’ll take some new pics so we can see how much further she can bend…

More about Annie later, she can also be found on facebook.

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Mike

Mike says he wants to do this challenge because “it’s time.”  I feel you Mike.

Mike is frustrated with his low paying job (Mike drives a city bus), and tired of yo-yo dieting.

Mike and I have actually dieted together many times, one of the more famous attempts being when he and I ate only one bean burrito from El Poll Loco, and one 200 calorie “lean cuisine” TV dinner each night for several months.

Broke and living in Las Vegas together, we would get so hungry that all we could do was laugh. The one night each week we were allowed to “cheat” turned into these grotesque glutton fests.  We did lose a lot of weight…

Mike has always wanted to run in some kind of competitive amateur race or event.  His goal is to go from being overweight and totally sedentary to being able to run the distance of 10 miles at the end of the challenge.  My advice to Mike was to limit his running to no more than 4 days in the beginning and to spend the other 3 days doing resistance training, yoga, or cycling.  That way he will lower the risk of injury (running can be very hard on your body).

Mike eats pretty bad.  I say that with love as his brother.  He told me he is going to watch his overall calorie intake for the next 90 days while also making small incremental moves toward eating healthier.

Mike’s in search of a sustainable approach to food that will help him get off the diet merry-go-round for good.  He also wants to make being active integral to his new life.  My other suggestion to Mike was to keep it very simple, for example having a nutritious raw green smoothie for breakfast so he at least knows he’s getting a baseline of daily nutrients.

Mike is a huge music fan and travels the state to catch his favorite band Slightly Stoopid.  Mike has one of the funniest self-deprecating styles of humor i’ve ever encountered.  He and I both want to take some long-ass road trips in the near future…

More about Mike and his attempts to overhaul his life by taking control of diet & exercise in the weeks to come.  For now you can find him on facebook.

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I will have Mike, Annie, and Carrie’s full stories to share with you in the weeks to come. Hopefully I will also have some other people willing to share their personal transformations with you as we go forward.  If you are curious read more about the 90 day Natural Fitness Challenge here.

What I did for my Day 5:

I am still suffering from this sudden-onset sinus infection and am trying a variety of natural remedies to get rid of it as fast as possible.  Fortunately I have tonight off from work.

  1. Slept in until noon–badly needed.
  2. Drank 16 0z. of water with 2 tbs of apple cider vinegar (purported to clear the sinuses).
  3. Drank a green drink made of fresh squeezed OJ and grapefruits blended with spinach.
  4. Drank another 16 0z. of water.
  5. Took a 45 min slow hike almost straight uphill–some pics below.  My goal for today was just to get my heart rate up, feel my legs burn a little, and get some clean fresh air.
  6. My post workout meal was my favorite raw dessert, a slice of cheesecake from Earth Cafe.  Raw/Gluten and Dairy Free/No refined sugar/OUTSTANDING!
  7. More water with ACV.
  8. Dinner will be the big oven roasted veggie feast I described and some lentils with red onion.  Trying to eat extra clean today in hopes it will help me get over this damn sinus thing.
  9. Tons of water with lemon juice to follow…

you have to park down the road and walk up the road to base of mountains...

great views of coachella valley below

god i wish annie would keep up with me 😉

your supposed to strike that pose on top the mountain...


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90 day natural fitness challenge: Day 2…Beginner Bikram lessons learned

Insomnia has been a painful issue with me for some time now.  I’m hoping that 90 straight days of exercise will help me fall asleep earlier and that I can experience deep rest.  Deepak Chopra says that dynamic activity begets deep rest which begets dynamic activity…

So this morning I crawled in bed at 3AM and lay there unable to fall asleep until about 4:30AM.  It was real TOUGH to get my ass up at 9 for yoga.  But that’s the great thing about a commitment to something bigger–like the 90 day challenge–I got up.

And I am really glad I did.  I was able to take Damon’s class (he is one of the owner’s of Bikram Yoga Palm Desert) for the first time.  Damon is hilarious and his class is fun while still being focused on max exertion.  When I used to practice on a regular basis I was always blown away when I learned something entirely new.  Today Damon taught me two things in class that I had never heard before:

  • In the balancing stick posture Damon actually did a breath count with us!  I’ve heard teachers simply say to make sure you breathe in this posture, but he literally guided us through 3 or 4 deep inhalations and exhalations.  It changed my entire perspective of this posture and what I could potentially do with it as I progress.

The man and the pose...Damon doing balancing stick pose

  • The other thing he said which blew me away has to do with a pose that’s almost at the end of class and that in the past I always payed little attention to and sort of treated like a “cool down” stretch.  It’s called janushirasana with paschimottanasana or “head to knee pose.”  But the last part of this poses name is “intense stretching posture.”  I had NEVER heard that before and a light bulb went on and I did stretch more “intensely” and it was amazing!  So thanks Damon.

The other thing I love about being a beginner with Bikram is that it’s actually easier as a beginner.  Sounds weird, but when you are new, just trying to breathe and stay in the heated room is an intense workout.  You get a little better and just doing all the postures is a big thing.  When I practiced every day and got a little more proficient is when it got really difficult.  Suddenly I was flooded with nuances that make the practice even more hard core.  So I’m going to relish being a beginner again!!!

One last observation about Bikram has to do with listening.  We all suck at it.  Seriously.  And Bikram is this place where you can practice listening, not just to the instructors voice, but your body too.

Today is a 100% raw food day for me

My plan is to continue eating a ton of raw fruits and veggies every day.  But several times a week I will eat 100% raw for the entire day.  It’s such a powerful way to not let food cravings get out of hand and I have a lot more energy when I go all the way…

Today so far:

  • Quart of water before yoga
  • Coconut water before yoga (only thing I like having before a Bikram class, a little natural sugar & tons of electrolytes)
  • Another quart of water during class
  • Shopped at Farmer’s Market
  • Made a delicious smoothie: Juice from 2 grapefruits & 2 oranges.  1 cup frozen blueberries.  Packed the remaining space in the blender w/ organic spinach.  Blended and drank down this perfectly flavor balanced combo!
  • A tropical tango smoothie from Luscious Lorraine’s Juice Bar in Palm Desert.  It’s packed with coconut water & coconut meat and tropical fruits!
  • Tonight when I get back from a late night working at the bar I will make raw nachos.  I top Leaf Organics  raw corn chips with heaps of fresh guacamole, cut up black olives, cilantro, and my favorite raw hot sauce made by Cafe Gratitude which I bought extra bottles of last time I was up in the Bay Area!
  • And then for desert I will have Uli Mana’s raw chocolate truffles with a glass of organic red wine!

I’m not sure yet what I will do tomorrow for the fitness part of this challenge.  But I’m looking forward to putting my body to work again tomorrow.

Cheers! And I hope you are enjoying this long New Years weekend.


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90 day natural fitness challenge: DAY ONE! Hiking hungover…

“Ringing” in the New Year by drinking, is at best strange, and at worst just stupid.

I was the guy dispensing the booze all last night, so I didn’t actually start drinking until after the party goers left the bar.  And when I say “left” I mean grownups crying, cussing, and falling down on the way back to their cars or cabs…

Some highlights of my New Years Eve:

  • A retarded crackhead couple (I’m not being funny–I’m serious) who snuck into the party just a few minutes before the ball dropped.  Just in time for free bubbly and to have me take their photo with the woman’s camera phone–A picture I would kill to have!
  • There was also a couple who reminded me of Sigfried & Roy–except they were straight.  Picture a trailer park version of Fabio making out with a female version of Fabio who has enormous breasts.  Which Fabio kinda has anyways…

  • A woman in her seventies kept beckoning me over with her finger (not bending me over…beckoning…) and she would say things to me like, “You have the most beautiful eyes, can I stick a star on your face?”  Wasn’t long before I had two or three big silver plastic stars stuck on my forehead and cheeks.  There is probably some old guy writing a blog right now about how there was an idiot bartender at his New Year’s party that was trying to look like Paul Stanley from KISS.

  • The piano player got so drunk from steady bourbon shots that at one point he just started screaming into the microphone “SUCK! SUCK! SUCK!…SLUTS! SLUTS! SLUTS!”
  • One of the guys who played a bartender on “The Love Boat” was at my bar!  Not Isaac, the white one.  He ended up becoming an actual bartender.  How weird is that…kinda like the “I play a Doctor on TV” thing.

So after all that, I had a couple shots of tequila myself, and they knocked me on my ASS!  Damn my tolerance has lowered dramatically since I stopped being a drunk.

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Today is day one of my 90 day natural fitness challenge!

Despite being slightly hungover, I accomplished my daily goal of doing some kind of intense exercise each & every day.  Now I only have 89 days left to go!

So I will be doing at least a brief post every day where I will share what I ate, and what kind of intense exercise I did that day.

Once a month I’ll post pics, my weight, some measurements and other stats.  The core of my regimen is going to be Bikram yoga and a diet high in raw foods (I’m shooting for somewhere around 2/3 of my diet being raw).

If you are curious, you can read more about the challenge here.

I am hoping this spreads and that many of you will want to join me.  There aren’t a lot of rules, and it’s  OK that you didn’t start right on January 1st.   It’s meant to be personal, and customized to help each of us accomplish whatever we feel we need to.

For me, it’s getting ACTIVE as a person and rebuilding my body, which has become a shipwreck from years of not using it and even worse abusing it.

So far there are four of us who have started as of today:

  1. Me.
  2. My brother Mike.
  3. My Aunt Carrie.
  4. And Annie!

In the next few days I will begin writing about each of them and what their goals are and what approach they are taking to get there.  Each of them have also agreed to let me post their “before & after” pics as well as interesting stats at the 30, 60, and 90 day markers!

If this seems like it might be the right time for you to join in, please check out this page which has links for you to get in touch with me!!!

DAY ONE

I wanted to start the year strong by spending the day outside and hiking through some breathtaking desert-scape!  Annie and I spent three hours hiking in the famous Indian Canyons.

The first 90 minutes we pushed really hard (we were nearly trail running much of the way), and it was mostly up.  My heart was tearing through my chest and my ass & thighs were really working it.  Great hard core sweaty workout.  Annie started overheating and taking her clothes off…

Then she passed out in a dry riverbed despite my warning her of the very real dangers of flash floods!

I let her sleep for about 15 minutes (she was up early this morning and already had done a 90 min Bikram yoga class!) and we slowed it down on the way back down so we could enjoy the views…

Today:

  1. Quart of water
  2. 2/3 of a pineapple & a banana
  3. Rigorous hike
  4. Ate 2 LARA bars while hiking and drank another quart of water.
  5. Fabulous Dinner at ACE hotel:  Spicy re-fried beans, Cojita cream corn salad, Chilaquiles (they have the best I have EVER had), plenty of hot sauce & a cold Negro Modelo!
  6. My fave raw dessert, Earth Cafe’s cherry cheesecake, which I buy by the slice at the health food store and keep in my fridge for nights like this!
  7. Goal is to finish off a third quart of water before I go to sleep later…

Tomorrow is yoga at Bikram Yoga Palm Desert & a trip to the farmers market!!!


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Santa’s either on raw foods or crack…

Sorry to break with tradition kids, but Santa comes earlier and earlier every year (that’s what happens when you get old), and I opened my presents already!

Here’s what she got me. Oh yeah, I forgot, Santa’s a she:

Black & Decker Power Pro Wide Mouth Food Processor

This thing is the bomb.

I did creamy pesto (combined my raw mayo which is cashews and olive oil and lemon and vinegar with loads of fresh basil, some rawmesan, and more oil) in it last night already.

You’ve probably heard me bitch about how hard raw food prep is with only a blender.  Blenders ARE NOT food processors.  The way all your stuff keeps getting stuck in the bottom…maddening.

This babies not only got a wide mouth–she’s also got a big ol bottom.  And it has other cool attachments like graters and flour mixers and all that.  Plus because it’s a Black & Decker I feel like a real man when I use it.

I AM STOKED!

Spatula Spoon Things

A 3 pack of really cool spatulas that are each shaped differently and that also act as squeegees for scraping all that good pesto outta the food processor.

These things are brilliant!

It feels super crummy to waste food stuck on the side of a blender…get these!

More Counter Space

We have no damn counter space!  I love to cook (or for the past few months “prep”) food and it is so frustrating to never have space to work.  So Santa, or Annie, let’s just call her Sannie; remembered the trick we did in our minuscule NYC apartments and got me a honking huge cutting board that fits perfectly over half the stove top.

Instant counter top extension.  Now I can stack supplies there and cut and prep next to it on one of my smaller cutting boards!

Shooting Ear Muffs

With a name like Putin, you wear them however you like. Hear he makes a mean smoothie too.

You don’t actually shoot ear muffs, you wear them.  And even though we don’t own a gun, we do look like FBI agents now whenever we blend.  The ones I got for Christmas are genuine “Winchester” ear muffs.

Don’t laugh.  Our blender is LOUD LOUD.  And it’s going all the time.

I get home from the bar and I’m making smoothies sometimes at 2AM.

Then when I’m trying to sleep at 6AM it sounds like SAW IV when Sannie’s in the kitchen making her huge green cacoa concoction before yoga. I finally get up around noon I’m back at the blender making my “I Am What I Am” drink.

So we now wear gun protection when we blend.  And my ears are thanking me already.  Plus it’s fun to put them on and talk.  You can’t really hear yourself.

Off to the SF Bay area soon for a chilly Christmas week.  Can’t wait to hit up Cafe Gratitude for some raw gourmet…

The Inside of the Berkeley Cafe Grat Location

And my eight weeks of being 100% raw will be over…so I’m also looking forward to eating at our favorite family owned Mexican restaurant in Concord–Las Montanas!

Bring on the beans n rice, handmade corn tortillas, grilled onions n peppers, and salsa roja!

What will I being eating after my 60 days raw challenge is over?

I have some cool ideas about that and will share them shortly!