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60 day raw food log: day 28 If raw food is so great, why do I feel bad?

It’s Sunday in Palm Springs, 75 degrees out, beautiful mountain backdrop, happy friendly people and their pets are out enjoying the life…

And I feel like shit.

Why?

My first week eating only raw food was rough.  Imagine cutting yourself off cold-turkey from drinking over 100 adult beverages per week, abstaining from your morning cup of crack with the pretty mermaid on it, and suddenly refusing your body any access to pizzas and Mexican food…NOT a fun transition.

If you’ve seen New Moon, and watched Kristen Stewart’s “Bella” writhe and scream in her sleep over her lost Edward (who I still maintain looks an awful lot like Bert from Sesame Street), you have an inkling of what my first week raw felt like!

Weeks two and three were a different movie…I felt euphoric and “high” and ate up all the positive comments I was getting from friends and strangers.  EVERY SINGLE DAY I saw a thinner, sexier, happier, healthier, more in-tune version of me in the full-length mirror.

Having a cute young raw foods chef at a Santa Monica cafe ask me if I was “raw” the second I walked in the door surprised me.  When I answered yes, and she told me she “thought so, because my eyes were so clear and I really had a case of the glow” I was beyond flattered.

But here I am near the end of week four, a week of apathy and fatigue.  What’s up?  I feel like I’m doing this right…I’ve slowly been upping my intake of greens, I’m making sure I get natural fats like hemp oil, I’m still eating a lot of juicy organic fruits…

Also, I eat very little dehydrated raw foods (they make me feel as dry as they are) and most days just eat foods in their whole simple form without trying to “doll” them up.

I’m hoping that it’s just another cleansing level I’ve hit?  I would expect my recent toxic past to haunt me for awhile. Maybe it’s a little bit mental…one month is the longest I’ve ever gone before raw…? But Jesus do I hate the idea that some or all of the benefits of raw eating might just be in my head.

One interesting distinction I’d like to make: I’m not depressed.  I’ve spent much of my life in moderate to severely depressed states, this isn’t anything like that.  I’m clear about things–almost scary sober–but I don’t necessarily like how that feels…

Sometimes eating raw makes so much sense to me, and I see it as the answer to a lot of peoples problems both on a personal level and a collective one.  That’s how I mostly feel…at other times the whole thing seems ridiculous and absurd!  Not eat ANY cooked foods?  Not get drunk and stupid?  WHY?!?  What am I trying to prove? To whom?

As an example last night a guy at the bar wanted mashed potatoes.  We don’t have that on the menu, but Mike the Chef made some for him anyways, that’s the kind of old school cool we serve up.  When I bring him the potatoes I’m drooling.  When he adds a few dollops of real butter I’m butter.  So I try and remind myself that when I get home later I was actually going to make my own version of mashed “potatoes” which are made from soaked cashews and cauliflower blended up with salt & pepper.  They taste pretty good.  But they are NOT potatoes, and they are cold.  For some reason it just seemed stupid to me…am I too good for potatoes?

My intention with this blog is not necessarily to inspire anyone to do anything.  I simply want to reveal what eating raw is doing for me (now and in the future).  So please take what I say with a grain of pink Himalayan crystal salt.   I’m half-way through my trial and will continue to candidly share my peaks and valley floors with anyone interested…

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60 Days Raw food Log: Day 8…Lost SEVEN POUNDS my first seven days raw!

Day 8

I wish I could say I was more excited about the radical weight loss I’ve experienced–7 lbs my first week eating only raw/live food–but I knew it would happen & wasn’t surprised when I got on the scale today.

Also today, well before I knew how much I had “lost”, I felt that moment where I turned a corner and was gaining from this in ways that feel even more rewarding than weight loss.  For instance, everywhere I went today people smiled at me and said hello.  No joke…EVERYWHERE.  People at work and home are remarking on how “tuned-in” I seem, and how “present” I am.  Apparently I’ve been away for awhile…

I also started off feeling kinda miserly about spending money on myself.  That’s sad, huh?  Being stingy with yourself.  Today I felt like I deserved everything I bought at this cool little health food store / raw cafe I discovered in Palm Desert called Luscious Loraine’s. At this point it suddenly seems clear to me that investing in myself is tantamount and that the universe is only going to respond favorably to my doing that.

And remember, that 7 lbs was lost with almost no exercise. Like i said before, I’m really trying to learn how to let my body lead me for a change.  So when I get that urge to start running or jumping or swimming or whatever; I’ll do it.

Tonight I took a brisk full moonlit walk and couldn’t believe the euphoria (I was singing “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s…AMORE!”) surging through my veins.  I don’t know if the change is this dramatic with others who stop eating cooked foods and begin feasting on nature’s super-foods?  But for me it seems to get me on some kind of cellular-neural level…

What I ate today:

  • Pear
  • Freshly juiced greens including Kale with lemon and apple and ginger–HARD CORE!
  • Raw nori rolls with avocado, carrot, nut “cheese”, sprouts and tahini dressing (not that great)
  • Watermelon Juice of course!
  • Death by chocolate shake! Woke up from nap and knew exactly what I wanted…cacao powder, walnuts, hemp seeds, coconut oil, a banana, honey, water and ice…just before I finished blending I through in a chunk of pureraw chocolate I bought at the health food store earlier so it had chunks! Chocolate HIGH!
  • Raw soup made of coconut and greens
  • Apples with pecan butter!

Note:  So, yeah, I think going cold turkey and doing it the way I’m doing it is a rough transition. And maybe it is better to ease into raw? But, that doesn’t work for me & when I’m ready to make the jump I’m ready.  Also, I noticed that almost every blog or personal web story where some raw foodist gives that advice to start slow…THEY DIDN’T!  They just did it. So my advice, do whichever is going to work for you.