Fat Kid Suit


My blog has a whole new look, now if I could just get one.

Fat Kid has a new Suit

I’ve changed a lot since I began writing Fat Kid Suit almost a year and a half ago, and it’s time for this ungrateful blog to grow and change some too.  Hello, it’s 2011.

For starters you’ll be reading about more than just raw food.  But don’t worry, I’m fat again.  So expect me to muster the courage to give raw another go with requisite candid field reports and embarrassing photos.

Food, Sex, and Self-Loathing

Having said that (props to Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld), my new tag line is “Food, Sex, and Self-Loathing.”

Self Loathing Sculpture (click image to see artist page)

The tag line should also include the word “writing” in there somewhere, but maybe self-loathing sorta covers that?  Several projects, including an unfinished screenplay that hates me for lacking drive and focus, need finishing.  And doing that is going to take energy.  Which I don’t have.  So welcome to perhaps the first ever blog that explores the correlation of  creative ups & downs with what goes in my mouth.

Some posts I may or may not write:
  • I’m getting sick of opinions, especially mine.  I want to share with you my recent attempts at going opinion-less.
  • Here I am again.  Fat, out of shape, and fairly disgusted with myself.  What am I going to do about it?
  • Low Fat Raw Vegan, AKA the “80-10-10 Diet.”  Can I really just eat fruit?!
  • Why cooked vegan just doesn’t work–for me.
  • Channeling your desire for food back into what it really is, a desire for “Sexy Time!”
  • Stories about Tijuana.
  • Pictures of our adopted children, I mean chickens.  Why something as seemingly ridiculous as a farm animal shelter makes more sense than I thought it did.
  • Why it’s not called “Red Wine Dick” and other things that suck about whiskey.

Feedback Needed

If you are considering a serious go at raw foods please let me know!  It doesn’t matter if you are considering a one week raw juice fast, or a longer commitment to vital eating, I am desperately seeking camaraderie and moral support!  I’d also love to feature some other raw stories here.

I’m not sure why, but I am having an extremely tough time motivating myself to take my health seriously.  I really miss the energy and overall good feeling I had when I ate raw.  If you are in a similar place, let’s talk.

Thanks for checking out the new and improved Fat Kid Suit!

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60 day raw food log: Day 42 Can’t sleep again so here is a freak show photo blog to appease blog gods…and get you all off my back!

Getting to sleep is proving to be difficult lately.  I’m WIRED from raw fruit & technology.

Tonight I got hooked on being a DJ at Blip. You can check it out and listen to what I’m listening to blah blah blah.  Connectivity is becoming a bitch people.  I LOVE it & I hate it.  Feel me?

I was also watching these time-lapse You Tube vids of people who photograph themselves every day for several years and then stream the photos in rapid succession so you get to see a kaleidoscope of hairdos & pimples. Pretty cool. Here is my absolute favorite one because the guys hair looks alive from pic to pic–DO NOT WATCH THIS IF YOU ARE ON LSD RIGHT NOW!!!

These photo fast forwards got me thinking about how drastically our “look” changes over the years, and made me want to post some of my candid pics from the past four years (that’s about when I bought my first digital camera).  Enjoy a peek at how unstable I really am and a boisterous laugh at my expense…


Uh, that's what you do when you get a new camera, right?

fresh off boat. most people head straight for the whole where WTC used to be. I went looking for George & Elaine.

being a bike messenger is almost medieval hard--look at my helmet hair

i think this was halloween?

after about a year in NYC--that's a BKLYN industries track jacket

getting a lil hipsterish--thats what those big live-work lofts do to you

you also apparently start shooting in black & white...

how i liked to dress when i rode public transportation in NY


didn't take long to go from hipster to hippy

I started channeling Jack Black

and doing a lot of disco drugs

and then apparently i was let out on parole?

but that didn't stop me from criminal trespassing

Is that JT? No..that's just me in Vegas

Eating at Cafe Gratitude in Berkeley the first time I tried raw living

started wearing all black and flipping off old ladies

Got a job on a cruise ship impersonating Bob's Big Boy

but the job had it's perks--these were french morrocan chefs on St. Thomas who fed our drunk asses yummy Thai food and shots of real fruit infused Patron...

it's xmas here, in HAWAII! but still have SF winter beard. and if you look close I was working on a rat-tail. my mom never let me have one.

Was hoping to be cast as "meathead" in All In The Family remake

here's where it starts to go bad...pretty sure there's a drink in my hand...

or a slice of pizza

apparently i never get off this couch, here's a year after the last photo, i'm 250 lbs or more and killing a case of beer every 24 hours...

which led me back to this raw food thing

and hopefully back on my way to healthy and too cool for school


I will be taking 60 day pics in about a week and a half…hope you enjoyed this insomnia-maniacal abuse of social media and won’t report me.

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60 Days Raw Log: Day 5 is scary. I’d rather be scared on Halloween than depressed


Today started great–woke up feeling super duper.  Went to bed early last night (which for me is 1am) and woke up way early too (7:30am).

You may have noticed there has been ZERO mention of exercise yet…that’s because I’m a fat lazy ass! I used to be addicted to Bikram Yoga (hot yoga) and Jesus was my life different then.  I also enjoy bikes.  I was a bike messenger in NYC and rode over 40 miles a day with up to 60 lbs strapped to my back.  When I lived on the Central Coast of California I totally got into mountain biking and had a full-suspension bike as well as a cool single speed 29er.  Now I own a fixed gear with sweet mustache bars, but since large butts hurt when they straddle small bike seats, I don’t ride much anymore.  My favorite exercise of all is nice long hikes and I hope to enjoy exploring hiking in the Palm Springs area this winter (people literally die when they hike in the desert here during the summer).

I want to get back to all that stuff soon.  Last time I did raw–when the crazy energy kicked in–there was no way I couldn’t exercise.  I was doing push-ups all the time and running up and down the steep hills of SF and sweating out the toxins in Bikram classes.  So I’m just going to let it happen naturally.

What I can’t stand is gyms. Not my thing.  One of my friends loves the treadmill and free weight thing.  I can’t do it.  I do have those funny work-out rubber band things though.  Those actually work pretty good for curls, etc.  Maybe I’ll get those out from hiding…

Tonight was the big Halloween party at the convalescent center I tend bar at.  So, to do my part, I got a few things at the costume shop and turned myself into a case of the swine flu. Unbelievably, so much was going on, that my girlfriend (who was a ridiculously cute zebra) and I forgot to take pictures.  I am pissed.

Here’s how I did my costume:  I spray painted my hair pink.  I got a very realistic looking pig snout that you are supposed to wear over your nose.  Poked a hole in one of the nostrils and fed a piece of Kleenex through it so that people could see tissue stuck in the pig’s nose.  Wore the nose on my forehead most of the night since I had to bust out a lot of drinks for the restaurant and the geezers in the bar.  Took a plain white T-shirt and using a permanent marker drew in big block letters “H 1 N 1” across the chest.  One the back in funny 1970’s style bubble letters I wrote “One Sick Pig.” On on of the sleeves I drew “CAUTION” with the caution triangle symbol.  I wore a string of pearls to add a stupid biblical reference (I hate the Bible) and used a little piece of pink ribbon tied on my back belt loop as a tail.  The whole costume was less than $10 and when people got it, it was a huge hit.

But, for some reason, overall the night was extremely depressing.  My head went into this spiral funk and I couldn’t get out.  I decided that if I were more celebratory & allowed myself a cocktail it would probably improve things. BIG MISTAKE! Made myself my favorite drink, a simple Tanqueray Gimlet (3 0z Tanqueray gin, juice from 1/2 a lime, shake the hell out of it in a cocktail shaker filled with crushed ice, strain over fresh rocks or “up” in a chilled cocktail glass). When all that drink did was make me feel restless, I made another…

Around 12:30 AM riding my bicycle home drunk, beyond depressed, and thinking things like, “at least I have the stars to look at” and, “at least I’m not like the lady those people wheeled into the bar tonight who had Alzheimers and garbled the weirdest version of God Loves America I’ve ever heard while clinging to the two little baby dolls she was holding on her lap.”

What I ate today:

  • 2 blooooood oranges (think Twilight, but Jack Black is playing Edward the Vampire)
  • cantaloupe juice
  • Lara Bar
  • Walnuts & raisins
  • Huge salad
  • 2 BIG ASS GIN GIMLETS (NOT raw no matter how you slice the limes!)
  • Cacao shake