Fat Kid Suit


4 Comments

Mussolini, Monsanto, and Madoff

Defendant Sitting In The Juror’s Box

So here I sit, desiring to make a meaningful change in my life–something that is almost always preceded by changing what I eat. But desire may be too strong a word, it’s more like I’m wishing I could change, which is a much weaker thing than white hot need.

Which I guess is why I am sitting, and not dragging my mass up the trail I told myself just yesterday I would climb every day–no matter what. Instead I opted for a blueberry muffin and coffee from a new Patisserie I’m fond of…

Please don’t think I’m taking any of this lightly, or that I think my being overweight and unhealthy is farce. I don’t. My sometimes ridiculously high blood pressure, my compromised aerobic capacity that must rate somewhere near a ninety year old asthmatic’s, and my low opinion of my mirror self are of genuine concern to me. And those are the surface items, the easily identifiable. I also fear the unseen, perhaps lurking abnormalities within…

Could I develop cancer? Are my aching kidneys truly on the fritz? Is my liver more bourbon than bile? In my barrel of a chest doth there beat a strong and lasting heart, or a clump of over-fat but underfed tissue? Are the migraines I get several times a week just a food allergy or isolated disorder, or part of some more pressing evil?

Verdict Coming Soon

I think many of us live with these unsettling questions. Too many cigarettes. The rebuke of hangovers. The disgusting discomfort of a bloated gut. The miracle body left dusty on its shelf…

But What Can Be Done?

As a good friend of mine recently asked, “But what can be done?” I joked in yesterday’s post about feeling like a twelve-stepper, but powerlessness really does factor in. Why do we feel so unable to control what we eat and drink. What supernatural power blocks us from using our bodies in a way that gets the blood pumping and adds years?

My opinion is that we underestimate how toxic our worlds are. Madonna lived in a material one, I inhabit a chemical one. Radiation, fumigation, pesticides, additives, preservatives, hormones, antibiotics, inhibitors, stimulants, depressants, EMF’s, polluted air and water, negative people, too much noise, too much of all of it. We try and live on foods that can barely be labeled such. Even when we do include some fruit or veggies they are mostly devoid of minerals and nutrients because the soil they grow in is ill-prepared and chemicals are substituted for care.

The problem is a complex one. The solution however may be ridiculously simple…

Mussolini, Monsanto, and Madoff

If there is one topic I hate reading about, it’s my own responsibility. But in a world like ours, it’s the only answer. Say what?

Benito

Humans have always blamed Mussolini’s, Monsanto’s, and Madoff’s for their own woe’s. Another favorite is one’s parents, bed-mate, or children. I’m the first to admit that both government and religion suck big time and do a whole lot of wrong, but I believe their blame only extends so far…

Years ago, when self-help titles occupied most of the best seller slots, I read a chapter on personal (and I mean deeply) responsibility that has never left me. I don’t remember who wrote it, or which of the multitude of saccharine self-pedaling books it was in, but it floored me. The gist was that the only way to change your world for the better was to unfailingly, 100%, take absolute responsibility for every last fucking thing about your life.

It may seem like I am trivializing, but for me the message still resonates. And while I know that it’s relevant to ask “What should I eat?”, or “How can I change?”, I also know that those questions are truly secondary. First is a refusal to blame anything or anyone else for where you are right this very second. And as harsh as it sounds that includes the man who left you stranded, the drunk who put you in a hospital bed for painful months, the mother who undermined your every move, the corporation that knowingly poisons you, and the guy who stole your TV.

Why Blame Is Lame

Let’s be clear. It’s not that they aren’t to blame. It’s that blaming them takes away whatever power you have left! Resolving that you will walk through life 110% responsible for every action or inaction you take makes you extremely powerful. Power FULL, in the driver’s seat, able to act as you wish.

And that definitely includes what you eat. As Michael Pollan says, we “vote with our forks.” We vote for or against the humane treatment of other sentient beings. We vote for or against ourselves.

You Are What You Eat When You Eat Your Kid

This is a topic that could and should be explored more deeply, but I share this much for now because it popped in my head as an answer to my own lamentations…

Advertisements


Leave a comment

60 day raw food log: day 15 This is really working! Lost 13 lbs in only 2 weeks!

So I’m now 241 lbs. I may post before & after pics soon, or I might just do it at the 30 days milestone?  My face looks way thinner already and I feel much lighter in general. And that’s with virtually NO…

EXERCISE:

So far. I am feeling the urge to get back to Bikram yoga.

When I do my quick little bike commute to the restaurant where I tend bar, I remember how amazing it was when I used to go on long mountain bike rides on the Central Coast of California or take a spring Sunday to ride from Brooklyn into the city and lazily circumnavigate Manhattan (the reward was always a stop @ the Whole Food’s at Columbus Circle for picnic supplies to be gorged on in Central Park followed closely by a nap on the grass).

FOOD CRAVINGS:

I still battle with intermittent yet powerful cooked food cravings.  Last night I was dying every time I took a pizza or garlic bread to a customer…

But you know what?  I feel tremendous. And how crazy is it to lose so much weight, so healthily, and so fast?  Thirteen pounds in just two weeks!?!


THIS IS NOT A DIET:

I really need to drive home an important point for anyone reading this wondering if they are capable of going raw–I AM NOT STARVING MYSELF.  I AM NOT EVEN DIETING. Seriously.  I eat as much and as often as I want.

Eating raw is qualitative not quantitative. That’s a funny expression I coined so that I would sound like I really know what I’m talking about.  It just means that eating and thinking this way (raw), has ZIP to do with dieting. Zero calorie watching.  Zero hesitation if you want seconds or thirds. Your free to focus instead only on what you are eating.

FREE TO THINK & CREATE:

And you know what? After the initial misery while cleansing (for me it was terrible headaches and anger), and after the evangelical weird high most new raw-fooders go through where they get sorta preachy & annoying (while still being extremely lovable by virtue of their infectious radiant charisma) , you are all freed-up to think and plan and enjoy exploring areas of life other than food.

For me that’s been learning what a blog (noun) is, and how to blog (verb).

I also dug up the grave that some screenplays I started but never finished were buried in. I had to re-introduce myself to a dormant creative ghost who shared in secret with me (don’t worry ghosts don’t read blogs, they read blaaahhhgggs) that it still wants to be fueled by alcohol and occasional cocaine parties.

But that would be a different kind of blog…

What I ate so far today:

  • Watermelon Juice from Nature’s Cafe (they are on Twitter now!)sweet livin walnuts
  • “Sweet Livin’ Walnuts” from Aimee’salso bought these at Nature’s Cafe. Sweet & salty…sorta like almond praline meets cinnamon toast crunch cereal? For me the Stevia leaves an aftertaste…that’s my one complaint..I really prefer raw honey as a sweetener.
  • Big Salad w/ avocado, sprouts, tomato, kalamatas, olive oil, lemon juice…
  • My first self-prepared “gourmet” raw meal: I made cashew “mayonnaise” in the blender, bought a surprisingly good raw dehydrated rye “bread”, and topped it with a thick layer of the mayo, olives, and half an avo, so that I had this ridiculously flavorful open faced sandwich that had deli overtures.
DSCN1417

sorry the pic is fuzzy, the sandwich moved!