Not much to report yet in regards to progress. For the record I stated I would take “baby steps” in my efforts to get my health back.
So to start with, my attention is on simple awareness. What I do. Why I do it. The whole “seeing” thing.
And how it actually feels. I’ve been noticing that sometimes I assume things feel certain ways even when the opposite is true.
So here is what I saw today in an effort to simply observe–minus expectation and judgment :
- I sleep very late. The past two days I made an effort to awake earlier (like in the morning), and realized I stay in bed because I don’t know what to do with myself all day. My life is minus direction, and time only flies while I’m passed out.
- I think I think too much. And I’m questioning the value I place on thinking.
- I used to look people in the eyes–almost searching theirs–now I look away.
- The foods I eat sound so good until I finish eating them. After, I feel heavy and less than inspired. Even defeated.
- I’ve lost any actual belief in my ability to accomplish anything that requires a real commitment (i.e., time/$/energy).
- I like people less than ever.
Physically, besides getting up earlier, I am taking nice long walks each day. Today the heat returned to Palm Springs, so I will wait until around 9PM to take a brisk (pace not temperature) stroll because the temp should drop to around 85 degrees by then.
The only other “healthy” changes I’ve made so far is cutting back on the quantity of coffee and booze a bit, and adding organic raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar (Bragg’s) to my daily routine.
The main reason I’m taking apple cider vinegar (ACV) is to try and reset my stomach and buffer my horrific Acid Reflux. I’m experimenting with it plain in water first thing in morning and before lunch (which is after coffee).
Late at night instead of my normal bourbon-based cocktails I mix a couple tbs of ACV with 1 tsp of natural baking soda and about 8 0z of cold water and pour it over rocks. Not actually that sexy, but it kinda tastes like hard cider, and so far it seems to be helping.
For what it’s worth I’ve also read that ACV has a slew of other benefits (kidney cleaner, clear skin, weight loss, etc.). I’ll report any benefits I experience.
I’ve made no other changes to my diet yet. A side affect of the mindfulness attempts is that I am cleaning up what I eat a little here and there just because I’m kinda watching myself as an observer…