Fat Kid Suit


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Santa’s either on raw foods or crack…

Sorry to break with tradition kids, but Santa comes earlier and earlier every year (that’s what happens when you get old), and I opened my presents already!

Here’s what she got me. Oh yeah, I forgot, Santa’s a she:

Black & Decker Power Pro Wide Mouth Food Processor

This thing is the bomb.

I did creamy pesto (combined my raw mayo which is cashews and olive oil and lemon and vinegar with loads of fresh basil, some rawmesan, and more oil) in it last night already.

You’ve probably heard me bitch about how hard raw food prep is with only a blender.  Blenders ARE NOT food processors.  The way all your stuff keeps getting stuck in the bottom…maddening.

This babies not only got a wide mouth–she’s also got a big ol bottom.  And it has other cool attachments like graters and flour mixers and all that.  Plus because it’s a Black & Decker I feel like a real man when I use it.

I AM STOKED!

Spatula Spoon Things

A 3 pack of really cool spatulas that are each shaped differently and that also act as squeegees for scraping all that good pesto outta the food processor.

These things are brilliant!

It feels super crummy to waste food stuck on the side of a blender…get these!

More Counter Space

We have no damn counter space!  I love to cook (or for the past few months “prep”) food and it is so frustrating to never have space to work.  So Santa, or Annie, let’s just call her Sannie; remembered the trick we did in our minuscule NYC apartments and got me a honking huge cutting board that fits perfectly over half the stove top.

Instant counter top extension.  Now I can stack supplies there and cut and prep next to it on one of my smaller cutting boards!

Shooting Ear Muffs

With a name like Putin, you wear them however you like. Hear he makes a mean smoothie too.

You don’t actually shoot ear muffs, you wear them.  And even though we don’t own a gun, we do look like FBI agents now whenever we blend.  The ones I got for Christmas are genuine “Winchester” ear muffs.

Don’t laugh.  Our blender is LOUD LOUD.  And it’s going all the time.

I get home from the bar and I’m making smoothies sometimes at 2AM.

Then when I’m trying to sleep at 6AM it sounds like SAW IV when Sannie’s in the kitchen making her huge green cacoa concoction before yoga. I finally get up around noon I’m back at the blender making my “I Am What I Am” drink.

So we now wear gun protection when we blend.  And my ears are thanking me already.  Plus it’s fun to put them on and talk.  You can’t really hear yourself.

Off to the SF Bay area soon for a chilly Christmas week.  Can’t wait to hit up Cafe Gratitude for some raw gourmet…

The Inside of the Berkeley Cafe Grat Location

And my eight weeks of being 100% raw will be over…so I’m also looking forward to eating at our favorite family owned Mexican restaurant in Concord–Las Montanas!

Bring on the beans n rice, handmade corn tortillas, grilled onions n peppers, and salsa roja!

What will I being eating after my 60 days raw challenge is over?

I have some cool ideas about that and will share them shortly!

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60 day raw food log: Day 42 Can’t sleep again so here is a freak show photo blog to appease blog gods…and get you all off my back!

Getting to sleep is proving to be difficult lately.  I’m WIRED from raw fruit & technology.

Tonight I got hooked on being a DJ at Blip. You can check it out and listen to what I’m listening to blah blah blah.  Connectivity is becoming a bitch people.  I LOVE it & I hate it.  Feel me?

I was also watching these time-lapse You Tube vids of people who photograph themselves every day for several years and then stream the photos in rapid succession so you get to see a kaleidoscope of hairdos & pimples. Pretty cool. Here is my absolute favorite one because the guys hair looks alive from pic to pic–DO NOT WATCH THIS IF YOU ARE ON LSD RIGHT NOW!!!

These photo fast forwards got me thinking about how drastically our “look” changes over the years, and made me want to post some of my candid pics from the past four years (that’s about when I bought my first digital camera).  Enjoy a peek at how unstable I really am and a boisterous laugh at my expense…

NYC

Uh, that's what you do when you get a new camera, right?

fresh off boat. most people head straight for the whole where WTC used to be. I went looking for George & Elaine.

being a bike messenger is almost medieval hard--look at my helmet hair

i think this was halloween?

after about a year in NYC--that's a BKLYN industries track jacket

getting a lil hipsterish--thats what those big live-work lofts do to you

you also apparently start shooting in black & white...

how i liked to dress when i rode public transportation in NY

BACK TO CALI

didn't take long to go from hipster to hippy

I started channeling Jack Black

and doing a lot of disco drugs

and then apparently i was let out on parole?

but that didn't stop me from criminal trespassing

Is that JT? No..that's just me in Vegas

Eating at Cafe Gratitude in Berkeley the first time I tried raw living

started wearing all black and flipping off old ladies

Got a job on a cruise ship impersonating Bob's Big Boy

but the job had it's perks--these were french morrocan chefs on St. Thomas who fed our drunk asses yummy Thai food and shots of real fruit infused Patron...

it's xmas here, in HAWAII! but still have SF winter beard. and if you look close I was working on a rat-tail. my mom never let me have one.

Was hoping to be cast as "meathead" in All In The Family remake

here's where it starts to go bad...pretty sure there's a drink in my hand...

or a slice of pizza

apparently i never get off this couch, here's a year after the last photo, i'm 250 lbs or more and killing a case of beer every 24 hours...

which led me back to this raw food thing

and hopefully back on my way to healthy and too cool for school

So…

I will be taking 60 day pics in about a week and a half…hope you enjoyed this insomnia-maniacal abuse of social media and won’t report me.