Fat Kid Suit

60 day raw food log: day 28 If raw food is so great, why do I feel bad?


It’s Sunday in Palm Springs, 75 degrees out, beautiful mountain backdrop, happy friendly people and their pets are out enjoying the life…

And I feel like shit.


My first week eating only raw food was rough.  Imagine cutting yourself off cold-turkey from drinking over 100 adult beverages per week, abstaining from your morning cup of crack with the pretty mermaid on it, and suddenly refusing your body any access to pizzas and Mexican food…NOT a fun transition.

If you’ve seen New Moon, and watched Kristen Stewart’s “Bella” writhe and scream in her sleep over her lost Edward (who I still maintain looks an awful lot like Bert from Sesame Street), you have an inkling of what my first week raw felt like!

Weeks two and three were a different movie…I felt euphoric and “high” and ate up all the positive comments I was getting from friends and strangers.  EVERY SINGLE DAY I saw a thinner, sexier, happier, healthier, more in-tune version of me in the full-length mirror.

Having a cute young raw foods chef at a Santa Monica cafe ask me if I was “raw” the second I walked in the door surprised me.  When I answered yes, and she told me she “thought so, because my eyes were so clear and I really had a case of the glow” I was beyond flattered.

But here I am near the end of week four, a week of apathy and fatigue.  What’s up?  I feel like I’m doing this right…I’ve slowly been upping my intake of greens, I’m making sure I get natural fats like hemp oil, I’m still eating a lot of juicy organic fruits…

Also, I eat very little dehydrated raw foods (they make me feel as dry as they are) and most days just eat foods in their whole simple form without trying to “doll” them up.

I’m hoping that it’s just another cleansing level I’ve hit?  I would expect my recent toxic past to haunt me for awhile. Maybe it’s a little bit mental…one month is the longest I’ve ever gone before raw…? But Jesus do I hate the idea that some or all of the benefits of raw eating might just be in my head.

One interesting distinction I’d like to make: I’m not depressed.  I’ve spent much of my life in moderate to severely depressed states, this isn’t anything like that.  I’m clear about things–almost scary sober–but I don’t necessarily like how that feels…

Sometimes eating raw makes so much sense to me, and I see it as the answer to a lot of peoples problems both on a personal level and a collective one.  That’s how I mostly feel…at other times the whole thing seems ridiculous and absurd!  Not eat ANY cooked foods?  Not get drunk and stupid?  WHY?!?  What am I trying to prove? To whom?

As an example last night a guy at the bar wanted mashed potatoes.  We don’t have that on the menu, but Mike the Chef made some for him anyways, that’s the kind of old school cool we serve up.  When I bring him the potatoes I’m drooling.  When he adds a few dollops of real butter I’m butter.  So I try and remind myself that when I get home later I was actually going to make my own version of mashed “potatoes” which are made from soaked cashews and cauliflower blended up with salt & pepper.  They taste pretty good.  But they are NOT potatoes, and they are cold.  For some reason it just seemed stupid to me…am I too good for potatoes?

My intention with this blog is not necessarily to inspire anyone to do anything.  I simply want to reveal what eating raw is doing for me (now and in the future).  So please take what I say with a grain of pink Himalayan crystal salt.   I’m half-way through my trial and will continue to candidly share my peaks and valley floors with anyone interested…

Author: Gray

Son of a traveling salesman who infected me early with gypsy wanderlust and the urge to move somewhere new every couple years to try on new identities. All my fantasies are escapist and in them I am free to never have to call anyplace home.

7 thoughts on “60 day raw food log: day 28 If raw food is so great, why do I feel bad?

  1. Why on earth would you subject yourself to an all raw food diet? OMG, that can’t be fun… 😦 Anyway look forward to reading through the rest of your blog and hope you’ll visit mine as well… 🙂

    • not on days like today! but most of the time it’s kinda cool…

      checked out your blog…it’s fab…and from the sounds of it you would love Palm Springs…the neighborhood I live in is literally 97% gay (this is from a census or something). So basically..my girlfriend and I are fucking up the works…but being gay men they accept us and all and wave…

      thanks for reading!

  2. Steve Pavlina has a website that talks very candidly about these “hangovers” and I think it would make you feel better to read some of his journal entries. Keep blogging. We’re listening out here!

    • Thanks Susan! I read Steve’s blog prior to going raw this time around… the guy is extremely scientific about his approach…interesting to read…

      One distinction with Steve’s “trial” is that he is specifically eating a low-fat version of raw that is becoming increasingly popular w/ endurance athletes..which is why I think he talks so much about having to force himself to eat so much (veggies and fruit aren’t very caloric).

      For now, I am just eating anything I want..and as much or as little of it at that. I DO NOT think about calories or fat, and instead just limit myself to raw live foods and try to listen to what my bodies telling me.

      Some days that means just fruit and juice. Other days I feast all day on rich foods and greens…


  3. Keep blogging! I’m reading. I’m trying to get through raw detox myself and am asking the same questions. Hope you’re staying raw.

    • Hang in there Drizz!

      For me the hardcore DETOX lasted only one week, and that’s coming off several years of really abusing my body with shit food, alcohol, and plenty of other unmentionables…

      THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING you can do to assist with the process is to focus on GREENS!!! Trust me!!!

      I highly recommend reading “The Green Foods Bible” by Sandoval as a way to get grounded in how important greens are in the raw way of eating and for everyone no matter how they eat…


  4. How refreshing.

    Too much information and too much food choices is a bad thing

    One day I am relaxed enjoy buckwheat porridge
    the next morning I am adament on loca-vore
    two mornings later I have to be a raw foodist!
    the next week I am convinced being vegan is wrong
    the next day I want to hunt elk
    the following day I binge on three ‘organic’ chocolate bars and try to tell myself its ok
    rinse and repeat

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